STRONGSVILLE, Jan 30 —  Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini are the parents of three children, two daughters and a special needs son named Joey. He was diagnosed with pachygyria — manifesting itself initially as cerebral palsy, epilepsy and developmental delays — shortly after turning one in 1982. Joey’s upbringing and life redefined Joe and Cindi in many ways.

The Ferrinis, who have served as Christian ministry leaders in Northeast Ohio for decades and are  also nationally-recognized speakers about marriage and family, believed it was important to share their decades of experiences with a special needs (SN) child. Their first two books on the topic were both self-published.

An increasing number of families have at least one person with special needs. More than 25 percent of nearly 80 million family households have at least one family member with special needs, according to the 2020 U.S. Census. That’s a big increase over the 19% percent reported in the 2010 Census.

Moody Publishers, one of the nation’s leading sources for Bible study resources and Christian books, is publishing the Ferrini’s third SN book, titled “The Special Needs Parent: A guide to the life you never expected.” The 12-chapter publication will be available on April 7. (See chapter list below.)

“Our purpose with this book is to help, encourage, and give hope to others who are also on special needs journeys,” says Joe Ferrini. “It’s a necessity, because there is much work, discouragement, and caring along the way for SN parents.”

For Cindi, who had chosen to leave teaching high school to raise a family, the best possible life for Joey life became her passion.

“Joey needed so many therapies – speech, occupational, physical. On top of that we had a lot of early childhood inventions and doctors’ appointments. We were working with therapists and interventionists just to help him sit up, and then to learn to crawl,” Cindi recalls.

“Therapy in the early years of Joey’s life came through trips to MetroHealth Hospital, and often I went there alone while Joe labored at his dental practice.”

As Joey grew, his needs changed too. Eventually his mother and father developed a philosophy about their situation, one called ‘Embrace the Place.’

“We have never considered Joey being anywhere besides with us,” explains Joe. “We love him, can (mostly) handle him, and have support around us to help along the way. As Cindi and I grew in our ministry work, discipleship, and mentoring, we’ve never asked others to care for Joey ‘just for us to go out and have fun’ but to help us as support in ministry, such as when we travel to speak at a conference.”

Cindi puts Embrace the Place in a similar light.

“Finances, care, decisions about who can do what within the family are all integrated into our lives,” she says. “In order to ‘Embrace the Place’ we had to understand in EVERY decision that Joey had to be considered.

“Joey’s limitations at times restricted us all in what we could do as a family. Everything is viewed in a different lens with a SN child,” Cindi explains. “When we go out, for example, it must be thoroughly planned and orchestrated well in advance.”

Another key aspect of raising a SN child is teamwork. “Our goal has not just to serve Joey and our girls as we were raising them, but to serve each other too,” Joe recalls. “I’d give Cindi some time after dinner to have peace and quiet time. She’d give me time when I came home from work to escape the chaos of the job, answer mail, go through email, etc. I’d engage with all the kids at dinner and afterwards.”

“Raising a SN child is kind of like the reality TV show ‘Dancing With the Stars,’” Cindi adds playfully. “There can be a lot of missteps, but we got to a well-choreographed final product. Life is like that for us now.”

Another critical success factor in raising a SN child is balance. “We really needed to rely upon each other for that,” Cindi says. “When he was younger, Joey simply couldn’t be just left alone to do things for himself. Now he’s learned to put on a movie, watch videos on his phone, play a video game, and root for his favorite teams, the Ohio State Buckeyes and Cleveland Guardians, on TV.”

“It took years for Cindi and me to help Joey learn to navigate things regular children pick up as they grow,” Joe adds. “When Cindi and I recorded radio segments for our ‘My Marriage Matters’ on Moody Radio Cleveland, we put a note on the bedroom door which read ‘Quiet – On the Radio.’ Joey learned what that meant, and he would just go and sit on the couch, patiently waiting until we finished.”

GOD’S BLESSING AND INTERVENTION

Like all SN parents, the Ferrinis have faced plenty of stress, exhaustion and isolation in their journey of raising Joey. Without God’s help and counsel from the Holy Spirit, those challenges would have been impossible to overcome.

“For this journey, we have been staying firmly in the word through Bible study and prayer, and with the power of the Holy Spirit, we have been able to walk out in faith with what we believe,” Cindi says.

“Joey is not a mistake; we’re thankful for him, and how he has helped mold our family and what he has taught, teaching us about serving, caring, patience, endurance, flexibility, and so much more,” explains Joe. “We still need to care for his personal needs: showering, toileting, dressing, teeth, medications, etc. and we have grown to appreciate his behavior quirks.

In many respects, what others see as deficits we see as us growing to keep meeting our son’s needs.”

Cindi points out that it’s important for SN parents to take an occasional step away from the stresses for getting “poured into” by others.

“Having someone to pray with you is important,” she says “Your spouse is good for starters, but also a good friend who understands your situation and cares enough to listen is important. I’ve had brief prayers of just 2-3 minutes with friends, and we’d get on the phone and pray just after the kids got on the bus for school every day.”

Both Joe and Cindi recommend having a “go to” friend you can call and just say “I need prayer!” at stressful times. “Cindi continues to have one special woman friend with whom everything can be discussed and prayed for,” Joe says. “That’s very important.”

Joe and Cindi have also learned  — and share in “The Special Needs Parent” – ways to handle situations when people say unkind or negative things about the SN child.

“We always try to take the high road and return an ugly look with a smile,” Cindi says. “We try to make every encounter comfortable, especially with younger children because they will wonder about Joey, they’re curious, and they get it that he’s different. Some people simply look away with an attitude of ‘what” about them. Attitudes are changing over time, and for the better.”

MORE RESOURCES

Managing life – For Today’s Journey is the website which Joe and Cindi Ferrini have. You can find it at www.cindiferrini.com  Two important past books are “Love All-Ways” and “Unexpected Journey.” The first is about embracing marriage together and making a marriage stronger in the process of raising a person or caring for a person with special needs.

“Unexpected Journey” covers both raising a special needs child and caring for parents who require special assistance in their later years. There are many other helpful items on the website, including “Get It Together!” a three-ring notebook which contains a step-by-step workbook to help develop daily, weekly, monthly and long-term plans for your life.

Joe and Cindi Ferrini will also have a book-signing event when Moody Publishing releases “The Special Needs Parent.” The signing will be at Pathway Church, 21211 Drake Road in Strongsville. Details to follow.

NOTE: www.eyeoncleveland.com will have a second story about the Ferrinis and “The Special Needs Parent” closer to the launch date. If you wish to pre-order the book in advance, below is the link to do just that:

https://www.moodypublishers.com/the-special-needs-parent

CHAPTER INDEX

AS WE BEGIN

1. DEATH OF A VISION

2. IT’S STRESSFUL

3. TEAMWORK

4. EVERYDAY LIFE CHANGES . . . EVERY DAY

5. RELATIONSHIPS

6. BETWEEN THE LINES OF THE LEDGER IS LOVE

7. UNKIND PEOPLE AND THEIR WORDS

8. THIS SEEMS SO UNFAIR

9. NAVIGATING BEHAVIORS AND ATTITUDES WITH INSIGHT

10. IS GOD IN THIS?

11. FREE TIME AND FUN

12. DEATH AND GRIEF

SURRENDER: CLOSING THOUGHTS